You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
