NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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