they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
