I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
