There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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