Pappa wants mamma naked
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
