Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
