We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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