Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
