and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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