he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
