I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
