I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
