last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
