Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
