So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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