Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
