Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
