alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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