You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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