hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
