Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
