I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
