I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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