Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
