i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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