It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
