But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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