we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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