Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
