You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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