All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
