Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
