cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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