I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
