Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
