it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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