I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just had sex on a roof
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
