Your dad touched me again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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