I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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