It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
