Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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