i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
