If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
