Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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