So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
