Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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