Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
