shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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