He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
