The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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